,
Sonnenlichreflexionen auf einer grünen Wasseroberfläche.
[ ja.]

SO WHAT REMAiNS?

PAUSE
SOMETHiNG'S TiCKLiNG
SO WHAT REMAiNS?
SOUNDTRACKS GOiNG STRONG, BELONG
REMEMBERANCE

NOTE
UNEXPECTED LiNES
SO WHAT REMAiNS?
LYRiCAL CONSTELLATiON, BUZZiNG ViNES
CONTEMPLATiON

CATCH
THiS FEELiNG
SO WHAT REMAiNS?
UNSEEN FRAGRANCES DRiFTiNG BY
RECOLLECTiON

BEHOLD
STORiES TOLD
SO WHAT REMAiNS?
LOViNGLY DESPiTE NUMEROUS iMPERFECTiONS
PERCEPTiON
W3 | The Skeptic’s Kaddish
W3|WEA'VE WRiTTEN WEEKLY|#164
your opinion?
i'm curious.
[ ja.]
[ ja.]
@ja-art.org@ja-art.org

start to art.

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23 Antworten

  1. PiCTURE|PERFECT 06/25 – wlknlr.wolkenleer

    […] |115 TWiNS |070 GESTREiFT DRAW A BEAD THEN TO NOW SOLiST |010 GEMURMEL TWiNS |071 2GETHER |004 SO WHAT REMAiNS? DO THE TRiCK 2GETHER |005 TWiNS |072 2GETHER |006 BUT […]

  2. ben Alexander

    hi, Svenja 😍

    Just wanna let you know that this week’s W3, hosted by the amazing Bob Lynn, is now live:

    https://skepticskaddish.com/2025/06/25/w3-prompt-165-weave-written-weekly/

    Enjoy❣️

    Much love,
    David

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you! Looking forward to it!

      1. ben Alexander

        *hug*

  3. wordsandcoffee1

    Great form and use of repetition.

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thanks a lot! 🥰

  4. tenzenmen

    Great format and repetition. It works really well.

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you! I’m happy you like it!

  5. Kim Whysall-Hammond

    I love the structure you have used here with the elfchen. It brings everything together so well.

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you so much. I really enjoy writing ‚Elfchens‘, and I think they should be more put together to form a familie of sorts. So it makes me happy that you like it as well!

  6. Stonehead

    This is a cracking poem: rhythmic, playful, with a rising hum beneath the surface. I read it aloud several times and loved the chant-like repetition of so what remains? However, I found myself tripping on pacing, breathing and emphasis. A touch more punctuation, just enough to guide the voice, would sharpen the delivery without dulling the energy.

    For example:

    UNSEEN FRAGRANCES DRiFTiNG BY RECOLLECTiON

    UNSEEN FRAGRANCES DRiFTiNG BY, RECOLLECTiON

    UNSEEN FRAGRANCES DRiFTiNG BY—RECOLLECTiON

    UNSEEN FRAGRANCES DRiFTiNG BY… RECOLLECTiON

    In the first one, as you write, there is no pause between by and recollection, which gives a specific meaning. Add a pause and the meaning changes. Lengthen the pause and not only the meaning changes but so too does the emphasis.

    This is a poem with strong lungs and a deep voice. It just needs a few indications as to how it should sing.

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you for your kind words. I’m really happy you like it. Your recommendations are highly appreciated and I see your point.
      I chose four ‚Elfchen‘ to give structure to the 44 words. An ‚Elfchen‘ is a short lyrical form of 11 words in 5 lines. The first line has one word, the second two, the third three, the fourth four, and the fifth one. So, I consciously worked without punctuation.
      I’m quiet honored you took the time to work with my piece. So thanks again for your feedback!

  7. poetisatinta

    I love how this has so much sensory texture and emotion ❤️

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you so much! I’m so glad you like it. 🥰

  8. wrestlingwordblog

    I love how this flows and intertwines. Thank you for participating!

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      You’re welcome! Thanks for your prompt and for commenting on my poem.

  9. ben Alexander

    Svenja, your repeated refrain

    „SO WHAT REMAiNS?“

    really echoes through the poem like a heartbeat—I feel it tying together all these flashes of sensation and memory. I especially love

    “LYRiCAL CONSTELLATiON, BUZZiNG ViNES”

    those words feel alive to me, like sound and growth tangled together.

    Much love,
    David

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you, David! I’m happy you like it 🥰

      1. ben Alexander

        *hug*

  10. Violet Lentz

    Sometimes memories are all that remains. Nicely done!

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you 😊. And those memories are waiting to be discovered in the strangest places.

  11. murisopsis

    The repetition works well and really brings the poem into focus!

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you! 🥰