,
[ ja.]

iN SHADOWS

SHE. SHE iS SiTTiNG iN THE CORNER

KNEES TO CHEST

SADNESS iN HER BREAST

CiRCUMSTANCES MAKiNG HER A LONER
 
DESPiTE HER AFFORDS, YOU iGNORE HER

FEARFUL, HOPiNG YOU'LL HEAR HER REQUEST

ALWAYS, UNASKED, GiViNG YOU HER BEST

UNTiL NOTHiNG iS LEFT AND SHE BECOMES A MOURNER



YOU. YOU WALK THROUGH LiFE. BLiND

SOMETHiNG'S MiSSiNG

FEELiNG NOTHiNG - NO UPS AND DOWNS - JUST BLAND

YOUR HEART? DARK. NO ROOM TO BE KiND iN YOUR MiND

YOU YEARN TO FEEL WHiLE KiSSiNG

WAKE UP! AND GiVE AND TAKE YOUR OWN LOViNG HAND
W3 | The Skeptic’s Kaddish
W3|WEA'VE WRiTTEN WEEKLY|#109
your opinion?
i'm curious.
[ ja.]
[ ja.]
@ja-art.org@ja-art.org

PAiNTED art WRiTTEN

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15 Antworten

  1. judeitakali

    true, we shouldn’t wallow for too long. Beautiful sonnet

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you! Your thoughts mean a lot.

  2. murisopsis

    A delight!

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you so much!

  3. D. Avery @shiftnshake

    I like the perspective of the poem, the switch from „she“ to „you“.

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you. I was pondering how to show both sides. As it is in love and war there are always at least two points of view.

  4. memadtwo

    I like the hope in the last line. And it has a great rhythm. (K)

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you. That means a lot!

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  6. michnavs

    I love how hopeful this poem is, and that it advocates self love.

    1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you! Not as easy as it would seem but so necessary. So be aware and let’s take the first step.

  7. ben Alexander

    Wow, this is really heavy, Svenja. An excellent piece.

    I think your line breaks may be off ~ did you see that the first stanza is supposed to be eight lines long, and the second stanza is supposed to be six lines long?

    Much love,
    David

    1. ben Alexander

      oh, wait, that’s so strange… when I look at your poem in the WordPress Reader, the lines look correct… but when I look at it directly on your blog, the lines are not broken up correctly… I have no idea why!

      anyway, please disregard my previous comment – I love this – it’s perfectly executed!

      1. wlknlr.wolkenleer

        Thanks a lot. I have edited the layout a bit. Maybe now it will be better readable in my blog. Who nows what’s going on in the background.

        And I’m greatful that you like it. Really. So thank you!

    2. wlknlr.wolkenleer

      Thank you David.

      Yes, I saw the required stanza theme. And I followed them. Maybe it seems otherwise because some lines are longer than the display allow?
      Let me try to make it more readable.